Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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