the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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