"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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