oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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