dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I smell stomach acid.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
