I hope mine doesn't look like that
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
