Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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