she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
