you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
