my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
