margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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