It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
