two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
