Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
