I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
