R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
