guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think a kid would responsible me up
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
