you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
