I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
