im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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