i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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