Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Acid is not a monday night drug
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
