I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
