what if every blade of grass was a penis?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
