Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
