I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
