he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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