the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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