wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
