for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
