My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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