I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
