Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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