everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
