Well douche your snatch and let's go!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
