I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
