and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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