What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
