Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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