I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Welp...herpes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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