I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i came on her dog
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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