Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
