you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
