he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
