we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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