We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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