I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
In other news, I just burned my penis
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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