yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
