Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When did angry sex become our thing?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
