just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
