A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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