your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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