just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
