he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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