did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
