Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's never too late to be topless.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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