He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My cat gives me a boner
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
