I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
