i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
